Mistletoe Madness
by Wolf of Nothingness
Summary: It's christmas eve at the Organization and anything can happen! As the title says, madness ensues. slight akuXroku and some RoxasX Xion. Oneshot.


~ Mistletoe Madness~

'Twas the night before christmas and all through the castle

Not a Nobody was stirring, not even Axel. ;D

~Part One~

Christmas eve at The Castle that Never Was was a complicated affair. Demyx was busy trimming the tree, while Axel was in the kitchen making Eggnog. Roxas was a little shocked to wake up that morning to discover that Christmas had come to the castle. This was, after all, his first Christmas. Demyx was first to greet the boy.

"Yo, Roxas! Merry freaking Christmas dude!" He rushed to Roxas's side and placed an arm around his neck. "How do you like the tree? Did I do a good job or what?" He squeezed the boys neck so tight he could barely breathe. Roxas attemted to remove the sufficating arm.

"Um..." He began sheepishly. "I don't want to sound rude since, you know, I know nothing about christmas, but..." Demyx slunked back away from Roxas.

"But what?" He asked sticking his lip out like a dejected child. "It's awful isn't it?" He began to weep. Roxas was now trying to console the tear soaked Demyx.

"No no! It's not that it's just a little...barren." He said the last part in a whisper. Demyx imediately brightend up.

"Oh that!" He said in an it's-so-obvious tone. "Before I could even start this morning, Vexen took half the boxes and ran off to the basement muttering about Santa being the only elder we fools respect...or something like that." Demyx wandered off thinking about his tree. Roxas shook his head and decided to go to the kitchen and check on the others. He walked in and found Axel. "Oh hey Roxas, what are you doing here?" He asked him in a cool and calm tone. Roxas leaned forward to see what Axel was doing. He jumped back in surprise as Axel burst out "BURN BABY" lighting his eggnog on fire. He let out an evil laugh then chugged it back. Roxas couldn't help but inquire.

"Um...I don't think you're supposed to light THAT drink on fire." He said, hints of fear in his voice. Axel chuckled and turned to Roxas with a flushed face.

"But it's so damn good that I couldn't care less." Axel stumbled around looking for a chair, Roxas took a bar stool and placed it under Axel just as he sat down.

"Yeah, right." Roxas said turning to walk away. Just then Axel grabbed Roxas's arm and pulled him close and put his mouth almost in Roxas's ear. Roxas gulped.

"I hate christmas." Axel whispered, Roxas recoiled from the warm breath in his ear. He rubbed his ear trying to get the warm wet feeling off. Axel was now passed out on the bar, so Roxas decided it was a good idea to find somewhere else to be.

~Part Two~

Meanwhile in the basement...

Vexen was busy doing...whatever it was he was doing.

Wrapping Christmas lights around blocks of wood? I just don't know...

"Mwahahaha! They called me a mad scientist! Well, I'll show them who's really mad using the Science of Santa!" Vexens evil laughter could be heard resonating through the entire Castle. Cold chills ran down the spines of everyone within its walls.

Meanwhile Topside...

Roxas had begun his tour of the decked out halls of the Castle. It had started when he went out for some air near Memories Skyscraper and had ended at the Alter of Naught. Every inch of the Castle appeared to be decked out in one way or another, mostly just rows of mistletoe in the halls that Larxene had put out in an attempt to bait Axel into a kiss. Roxas thought it rather amusing to see the Alter of Naught look more like a wedding chapel than a place of worship to Kingdom Hearts. He leaned over the edge and let out a sigh. He had combed every inch of the castle and there was no sign of Xion. He was begining to wonder if she had just up and left him. He had worked so hard to pick out a special Christmas present just for her. He stepped back from the edge and began his descent back down to the meeting hall. On his way down he had a sudden realization: He hadn't seen Xemnas anywhere in the Castle either!

Back in the meeting hall...

Roxas stepped in and was about to inquire about Xemnas when he noticed everyone gathered aroud Xigbar on the couch. Demyx noticed Roxas enter and snatched something from Xigbar's hand. "Hey!" Xigbar exclaimed, but Demyx didn't notice.

"Yo Roxas! You're not gonna believe this!" He handed Roxas the postcard to examine. Roxas' mouth fell agape at what he was seeing. It was a picture of Xemnas in a speedo, laying on a beach. It read in bold font "I'm Here, You're Not." Roxas' eye twitched.

"I thought he was on an assignment in the Jungle. Why's he on a beach?" He turned to the couch of nobodies for an answer. Larxene scoffed.

"Thats what you find wrong with that? What about our hairless leader in the miniature Speedo that leaves almost nothing to the imagination?" She grabbed Roxas by his collar and emphasized every word with a sharp tug. Roxas squeezed her wrists attempting to free himself from the death grip.

"I was trying to repress that memory." He said, eye still twitching.

~Part Three~

Several hours later...

Roxas was in his room musing about the upcoming party. He couldn't believe the Organization had even decided to have one. He looked out his window at the now all lit up castle. It would have been perfect except Demyx had to use Halloween lights thanks to the lack of Christmas ones. Roxas chuckled at the memory of Demyx hanging off the side of the Castle stringing the lights.

"He's lucky he didn't fall off." He thought aloud. Suddenly he heard a voice behind him.

"Who's lucky?" A feminine voice echoed in his ears. He turned around in time to see Xion in his doorway. Roxas lept off his bed and rushed to her side. He wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. She gladly hugged him back.

"Where have you been? I looked everywhere for you. I thought you ran away again." Roxas blurted out. Xion pushed her ecentric friend off her and chuckled.

"How could I ever leave you silly. You and Axel are my best friends." Xion stated boldly. A sudden realization hit her. "Where is Axel anyway?" She asked Roxas hopefully. Roxas shrugged.

" I don't know. Last I saw he was passed out on the couch in the meeting hall." He said, trying hard to keep the image of Xemnas in a Speedo out of his mind. Xion sighed and started to walk out of Roxas's room.

"Oh well. I guess I best get around. I don't even know what I'm going to wear to the party yet." She said as she headed down the hall. Roxas looked rather depressed at her complete and total intrest in Axel. He stopped and pondered.

"What does she mean 'something to wear'? I thought we were just going to wear our cloaks...Aw crap." Roxas shuddered. 'What if Axel wears something snazzy?' He thought to himself. He would impress Xion if it was the last thing he did. Roxas walked out of his room hoping to borrow something from Demyx. Just as he left there was a pounding on his window. Demyx was hanging upside-down off the Castle, held up by nothing but a string of lights.

"Dude are you in there? I could uh...really use a hand."But Demyx's muffled cries went unanswered.

~Part Four~

It was less than an hour until the party and Xaldin was busy cooking in the kitchen. Axel was the one in charge originally, but since he was passed out, they all voted Xaldin do it. After all, he won Iron Chef last year. Not because he could cook mind you, but because he had sharp objects and no one was brave enough to challenge him.

He continued to stir the foul smelling concoction not missing a beat. He was humming "Hi-ho" while chopping carrots. He looked way too happy. At that moment Zexion walked in carrying a bundle of firewood. Xaldin turned to look and darn near cut his finger off.

"Ow! Bloody son-of-a-!" He shouted pressing a towl against his finger to stop the bleeding. Zexion didn't even bother to notice the wounded Xaldin, and was about to head to the meeting hall when Xaldin began to press him for answers to his odd task. "Why on earth do we need firewood when we don't have a fireplace?" He asked, still infuriated that Zexion failed to notice his pain. Zexion stopped but didn't turn around. He opened his mouth but no words came out, only a sneeze. He walked off headed for the meeting hall. Xaldin stood wide eyed, mouth agape.

"What is wrong with that guy?" He mused as he went back to cutting his vegtables. It wasn't long before the foul smell attracted more attention, this time from Larxene. She entered the kitchen and gagged.

"Ugh! What is that AWFUL smell?" She shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Xaldin who, upon this sudden yell, sliced open another finger.

"God damn you freaking loud-mouthed Pikachu!" Once again he grabbed for a towl and applied pressure to his gaping wound. Larxene tried to hold back laughter at Xaldin's pain, fearing he would poison the already rotten food. He let his rage subside long enough to answer her question.

"It's dinner, what else?" He proclaimed, hints of sarcasm seeping from his words. Larxene backed off slowly making a disgusted face.

"Hell no! It had better not be! At least Axel only burns the food, Xaldin!" Her face suddenly turned green and she ran out looking for the nearest bathroom. Xaldin let an evil grinch grin take his face. This was going to be the best Christmas ever! He then looked down and noticed his finger had begun to bleed much faster.

"Oh god! I think it got in the soup!" He grimaced and just kept stirring.

~Part Five~

It was now ten minutes until the party. Axel had finally woken up and was in his room getting ready. Roxas had managed to borrow a tux from Xaldin, who said it was from his appearance on Iron Chef. As Roxas entered the meeting hall he noticed he was the only one dressed up. His face turned a bright shade of red. He was about to go back and change until Larxene made her first appearance of the evening. She was wearing a long white dress hemmed with ivory lace. Larxene wearing white caused almost everyone in the room to giggle. She began looking around the room glaring at everyone possible. Roxas felt his courage return with the lack of giggles at him. He headed for the tree to place his presents underneath. He then made his way to the couch to wait for the festivities to start. At that moment Xaldin entered pushing a tray of appetizers into the foyer. Several moans could be heard as the smell of his cooking reached their noses. But all of this was lost to Roxas. He was mesmerized at the sight of Xion descending the stairs. She was wearing a short black dress that reached her knees. It had thin straps and a sort of "V" shape in the back. Roxas was so focused he didn't notice Axel staring at him. Axel leaned in to whisper to Roxas.

"Careful, you're drooling." He sniggered. Roxas snapped back to reality long enough to respond.

"Huh?" He looked at Axel, who was pointing to his face. Roxas grabbed a napkin and sopped up the saliva. His face returned to that same shade of red as when he entered the meeting hall. He turned back to Axel to see what he was wearing. Roxas' face turned a darker shade of red upon seeing Axel wearing an identical tux. He was about to call him on it, when Xion aproached the odd pair.

"Well, don't you two look nice this evening?" She took a seat between Axel and Roxas. Roxas was about to comment on how nice she looked but Axel beat him to it.

"And don't you look beautiful?" After the words left his lips he took a sip of his champaign. Roxas silently fumed, thinking to himself how cool he looked. Roxas thought he would look cooler with a drink in hand, so he excused himself and headed for the drink bar. He was shocked to see Saix running the bar. He turned to scowl at Roxas.

"What do you want?" He asked. Roxas was nervous and thrilled at the same time. He only wished he had a camera.

"Uh...a glass of champaign?" He asked hopfully. Saix scoffed and threw his towl down.

"Do you think I'm retarded? I don't serve minors here." He turned his back to Roxas once again. Roxas sulked back off to the couch. On his way back he noticed Axel and Xion sitting close, laughing the evening away. Suddenly Axel put his arm around Xion. That was the last straw. Roxas had had enough.

~Part Six~

Roxas reached the couch. He leaned down and grabbed Axel by the collar and pulled him up on his feet. Everyone was staring at them now. Roxas pushed Axel and began his rant.

"What do you think you're doing? Can't you get an original idea in your head? I can't believe you! You only like Xion because you know I like her!" Roxas yelled so loud even Vexen, who was still in the basement, could hear. Roxas failed to notice this, still in a state of pure rage. He couldn't hold it any longer...He punched Axel. Xion gasped and ran to Axel's side.

"Roxas how could you?" She helped Axel back on his feet then left, completely mad at Roxas. Roxas now felt ashamed of what he had done. He went back over to Axel to apologize. Axel wouldn't hear it and left after Xion down the dimly lit hall.

Axel was totally buzzed and lost sight of Xion. He stopped halfway down the hall. He leaned against the wall and sighed. Maybe he should have respected Roxas' feelings more. Why did he come on to Xion? He didn't have those kinds of feelings for her. Was it because Roxas had feelings for her? But how could he know? He tried to get it out of his mind. Just then he heard steps coming towards him.

Roxas felt bad about how he treated both his friends. He followed them down the hall. He was gazing up at the ceiling. He couldn't believe how much mistletoe was up there. He would have thought it funny if it hadn't been for the circumstances. He was about to turn a corner when he noticed Axel leaning against the wall. Was he okay?

He made his way towards Axel.

Xion made it all the way to her room before she started to fell bad about the things she had said to Roxas. She turned around and began her journey back. She wondered if Roxas really felt that way about her. And she wondered if she felt that way about him. Her face began to turn red and she tried to talk herself down.

"There is no time think about that now. Just apologize and get out of there." She mumbled to herself. She was almost back when she noticed a couple of figures in the hall.

Axel was surprised to see Roxas there after all of this. But he wouldn't deny he was glad.

"What are you doing here?" He asked Roxas, trying to sound mad instead of relieved. Roxas' head sank.

"I'm really sorry I hit you and said those awful things to you." He said, looking to his friend for some sign of forgiveness. Axel sighed and looked back at his friend.

"It's alright. Really. I know I stepped on your toes. And I don't even know why I did it." He walked over to his friend and placed a comforting arm around his shoulder. Roxas sat up and smiled. He didn't want this to come between them, especially not on the holidays. Roxas looked up and noticed they were standing directly under a string of mistletoe. Axel saw his friends gaze and followed. Suddenly Axel's feelings became apparent to him. Maybe it was the champaign or maybe not. At that moment he didn't care. He leaned in towards Roxas who was just staring totally confused at Axel. Roxas didn't resist and their lips met.

Xion was still too far away to make out who the figures were. Whoever they were, they were close to one another. She was within feet of them when she could finally tell who they were. Roxas and Axel...Kissing? It wasn't long before they noticed her presence. Roxas started to panic.

"Whoa! It's not what it looks like!" He stuttered with his sloppy words. But it was too late. She ran back down the hall, tears in her eyes.

Back in the meeting hall...

Everyone had pretty much forgotten the spat between Roxas and Axel. They were now trying to dodge Xaldins every attempt to force feed them, when suddenly Marluxia thought up a great distraction.

"Wait wait wait! Has anybody seen Demyx?" Everyone stopped to ponder this.

Outside Roxas' window...

Demyx's body hung limp, his face flushed from all the blood rushing to it. He managed a soft sob.

"Why wont anyone help me?"

~Part Seven~

Back in the basement...

Vexen was still doing...whatever...when he heard a knock on the basement door. Vexen scowled and asked

"Who is it?" He sat a moment waiting for a reply. Nothing. "I said, who is it?" again he waited and still no reply. He was about to go back to his work when he heard a sneeze. His eye twitched. "Who the hell could that be?" He made his way over to the door. When he opened it there was no one there. He took a step a backward and was about to close the door when suddenly he heard another sneeze, this time coming from the hall. He shuddered. The scientist in him wanted to investigate, but the coward in him wanted to close the door, lock it and assume the fetal position. The scientist won. He made his way down the dark hall when once again he heard a sneeze. And then, a series of sneezes, each one getting closer and closer. If he had a heart this is where it would have stopped. Closer and closer...Now he could make out a figure in the dim hall. Closer and closer still.

"Oh dear God...if you can hear me...I'm sorry I said you never existed and took up the religion of Scientology." Now the figure was just feet from him.

"Oh it's you...What are you doing with that hammer? Whoa hey! Stop!"

"Achoo..."

Back topside...

Roxas was now searching frantically for Xion. He started in her room. Nothing. The kitchen. Nothing. As he made his way from place to place he went in and out of the meeting hall. His friends finally decided to confront him.

"Hey man, whats the hurry? We need to ask you, have you seen Demyx anywhere?" Xigbar's attempt failed. Roxas just ran past him into the next hall. "Okay. I'll take that as a no. Hey guys! He says he hasn't seen him!" Xigbar returned to the slightly worried group.

Roxas had now checked the entire interior of the Castle. Now he made his way back down and out to Memories Skyscraper. He arrived to find nothing. He was becoming frustrated and more worried. Then it hit him: Twilight Town!

Meanwhile at Twilight Town...

Xion sat alone at the top of the station tower. She wanted nothing more. She couldn't face her friends now, not after she had made up her mind, and certainly not after...She couldn't even bring herself to think about it. Just then she saw Roxas running below her towards the station. She should have known he would find her here. She needed to get away from there fast. She opened a portal of darkness and fled back to the Castle.

Roxas had finally made it to the top. He had convinced himself she would be up there, making the fact there was nothing up there but the wind that much harder to accept. He let out a sigh and sat down.

"Now where do I look? I just can't believe I looked everywhere and still nothing..." Out of nowhere he heard a familiar voice.

"Not everywhere." Roxas turned and saw Axel coming to sit beside him. "You searched the entire interior of the Castle..." He began when Roxas cut him off.

"I know that! Why are you telling me what I already know?" Axel sighed deeply and tried to hold back a chuckle.

"If you'd let me finish..." He began again. This time Roxas said nothing, he just hung his head in shame. Axel moved on. "You see, there is one place you forgot...It's kinda not inside." He ended his sentence there in hopes Roxas would catch on. Sure enough he sat up with a look of "duh" on his face and left without saying a word. Axel chuckled.

"A fool in love...and I screwed it up. I swear from this moment on to never get drunk again." Of course a vow means nothing if no one can hear you...

Back at the Castle...

There was a general confusion as to the whereabouts of four or so members. Larxene took this oppertunity to point out the obvious.

"How can we have a party if no one is here?" Everyone looked at her funny. Lexaeus, who was sitting in a corner moping, made the first remark.

"Thank you captain obvious..." Larxene turned and glared daggers at him. Lexaeus went back to being emo.

~Part Eight~

Roxas was running so hard he thought his lungs might collapse. He had a destination and was determined to get there as fast as possible. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before. The Alter of Naught...

The Alter of Naught...

Xion was sure no one would find her here. After all, he had probably searched the entire Castle. She leaned over the edge admiring the "Christmas" lights, wishing there was someone to share them with. And as if on cue, Roxas came running up the path shouting.

"Hey! Xion!" He exclaimed, totally out of breath. Xion turned and was about to open a portal of darkness when Roxas grabbed her arm. She tried to pull away, but he wasn't going to let go.

"Xion wait please! You have to hear my side of the story." He loosened his grip on her and stepped closer. Xion's gaze never met his. Roxas continued.

"You need to know that I have zero feelings for Axel...well, not those kinds of feelings anyway! He was drunk and I didn't see it coming so I couldn't stop it! I know it looked bad, trust me, but you're...you're the only one I have feelings fo-" His plea's for forgiveness were suddenly interupted by the familiar voice of Demyx.

"Oh thank you Jesus! I'm saved! You're like my total freakin' hero man! I'll never forget this!" Roxas and Xion's curiosity was piqued. They simultaniously ran to the other edge and peered over. What they saw shocked them both. Demyx, who was hanging upside down in front of Roxas' window, was being rescued by Zexion, who had made a make-shift ladder out of the piles of firewood. Beneath the ladder an irate Vexen was fuming, screaming at Zexion to give his hammer back. When Demyx and Zexion finally made it down Demyx was hugging him and kissing his cheek. Zexion pushed him off and pulled down the frail ladder. Demyx was eager to repay him.

"Thank you thank you thank you! How can I ever thank you? Come on! Anything, just name it!" Zexion turned to him, opened his mouth and sneezed. Demyx was taken aback by this. It took him a second to realize what was going on.

"Oh dude! You caught a cold, didn't you? Come on you're going to bed, and I'm taking care of you! No buts!" Zexion didn't seem to mind the offer. The two went back inside, followed by a still fuming Vexen. Zexion decided to qwell the angry Vexen by returning his hammer. He threw it over his shoulder, causing it to land on an unweary Vexen's foot. His cries of pain echoed through the cool night air.

Xion was the first to step away from the edge. She hung her head low and started to walk away. Roxas walked up behind her, trying to console her once again.

"Listen, please don't cry! I-" He was cut off again this time by the sound of her laughter. She couldn't contain it any longer. She fell to the floor laughing. Roxas smacked himself in the face with the palm of his hand. He would never understand her. He shrugged and decided "what the hell" and fell to floor right next to her, joining in her laughter.

~Part Nine~

Roxas and Xion were making there way down to the meeting hall. They had both agreed to put the entire incident behind them and pretend like it didn't happen. The walk back was quiet, neither of them saying a word. When they arrived they were greeted by alsmost every member of the Organization, all of whom completly forgot the fight between Roxas and Axel. They even forgot about the traumatized Demyx. Everyone had pretty much agreed that the party was over. Not that it was much of a party anyways. Xaldin was moping on the couch about his untouched appetizers. He thought of himself as a world class chef; after all he had won Iron Chef. Larxene was busy berrating Axel, claiming the incident was his fault. Axel was ignoring her, placing his attention on the martini Saix had just handed him (so much for the vow, eh Axel?). Saix was moaning to Marluxia that he shouldn't be the one in charge of pouring drinks and that next year he was going to make Lexaeus do it. Lexaeus was still in the corner, this time cuddling a stuffed bunny that Vexen tried to take from him all the time. Vexen was back in the basement locking up the hammer that Zexion took. Zexion was in his bed being tended to by Demyx. Demyx was rubbing Vicks on Zexion's tummy and singing Soft Kitty. Roxas walked past on his way back to the meeting hall and nearly fainted. Xion was with Roxas and equally as scared. Marluxia was ignoring Saix, trying to get Xigbar to stop using his flowers for target practice. Xigbar agreed and turned to Saix and started using HIM as target practice. Everbody was making so much noise it seemed like the party had come back to life. Just then, it started snowing in the World that Never Was. Roxas and Xion had just arrived back in the meeting hall. They walked over to the window to watch the rare spectacle. They even tuned out the noise that everyone else was making. They leaned in close to one another, and Xion reached for Roxas' hand. To them, it was like time had stoped. In their minds, they were completly alone...

Now it was late and everyone had gone to bed,

Except for one Nobody. What could be in his head?...

Meanwhile in Vexen's head...

His plan was perfect. While the fools slept he would put out the presents, creating mass panic. Who put those presents there? Where did they come from? Then Vexen would step in proclaiming he was the masked hero! Everyone would bow down and respect his awesome genius! Yes, it was so simple it just might work...or would it?

Vexen was now busy loading his sleigh, which was more like a rectangle of wood with a desk chair placed in its center. His eight reindeer were just his mutated lab rats, and his sack of presents was just an old bag of toys left over from when he used to experiment on orphans. He was almost done loading when a present in the corner caught this eye. He had wrapped all the presents himself so how could he not remeber a present that large? He wandered over to it for closer inspection. It was a hefty box, wrapped in purple wrapping paper and topped with a red ribbon. Surely he would not forget such a beautiful gift...right? Now he was curious who it was adressed to. He lifted the snowman shaped tag and read aloud.

"To Axel, From...Blank?" The 'from' part wasn't filled out. Who on earth would forget to take credit for this amazing gift? He pondered this a moment before running to his desk to get a Sharpie marker. He filled in the blank "From" section with his own name. That ought to get some respect, he thought. Besides, who would notice or care?

His sleigh fully loaded and flying rats ready to play along, Vexen could now fulfill his creepy desire. He opened the secret door in the basement and took flight! And what an odd sight it was! Eight flying rats and the box they were towing with a creepy Mad Scientist on top. He reached the top of the Castle and grabbed his extremely heavy bag. He walked to a secton of roof and placed his hand on a square. The square dissapeared revealing an eight digit security pad. Vexen entered the code (13-13-1234) which only he knew. With the correct code entered, the pad opened a secret tunnel which led from the roof straight down to the meeting hall. Vexen had built the entire thing himself, in secret (Somehow). He jumped in and slid down quite a ways until he reached the bottom. He was now just feet away from the tree. He went to reach for his bag suddenly realizing he left it up on the roof.

"Son-of-a...! Damn, this was going so smoothly too..." He was about to begin his ascent of the narrow tunnel, when suddenly he heard something coming down. Before he had time to react, the giant sack of toys landed directly on top of him, knocking him half unconscious. The last thing he saw was something else coming down the tunnel. It was a figure carrying another sack. Vexen couldn't move, only listen as the figure approached him..."HO HO...HO?"

~Part Ten~

It was Christmas morning! And what a beautiful morning indeed! Everyone was just waking up and making their way to the kitchen for breakfast (Except Zexion, who was bedridden with the flu). After breakfast the crew made their way to the meeting hall to open gifts. The ever eccentric Demyx was the first one in.

"Yay! I wonder what Santa brought me!" He made his way to the tree at a dead run. Xigbar mocked his slightly retarded friend.

"You don't actually believe in San-" Xigbar's rant was abruptly cut off by the sound of Demyx gasping. Demyx was now kneeled down in front of the tree holding onto an odd lump. It took a minute for the others to reach the tree and discern what it was they were looking at.

"Ohhhh...It's Vexen!" Marluxia was the first to figure it out. Now everyone was trying to wake him up, thirsty for the juice that would certainly be his tale. After about five minutes of hard shaking and loud voices, he finally came to.

"Will you shut up?" He sat up and reached for the first person he could, which, unfourtunatly for him, was Lexeaus. In the process of grabbing Lexeaus, Vexen accidentally caused him to drop his stuffed bunny. ...Silence...

"Oh dear..." That was the last words poor Vexen spoke that day. Lexeaus had thrown him against the wall on the other side of the room, knocking him unconcious...again. Lexeaus reached down and picked up his bunny. Holding it close to his chest he tried to console the inanimate object.

"There, there Mr. Poopsie! Big bad Vexen wont hurt you again." Lexeaus walked over to the tree and sat down to await the gift giving. Roxas was thoroughly curious as to why he would name his bunny that, but too terrified to ask knowing what happened to Vexen. Demyx's eyes grew wide at the sight of the large purple gift. He "oooooh'd" and "ahhhhhhh'd" at the box until he decided he had waited long enough to find out who it was for. To his utter disappointment it was addressed to Axel.

"Man, you're so lucky dude!" Axel couldn't help but ask the obvious question.

"Who's it from Demyx?" Demyx looked the gift over again to find the tag. He couldn't help but giggle. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Pffft! It's from...Vexen! Ah hahahaha!" Most everyone in the room burst out in to fits of laughter (except Vexen...he was out cold). Axel was less than amused and demanded his gift. Demyx was about to hand it over, when a smal note fell out. Demyx grabbed it and read aloud.

"Dear Axel..." Another round of soft giggles could be heard coming from all directions. Demyx promptly hushed them and continued. "This is a special gift for your eyes only, therefore I leave these instructions. Follow them carefully..." He paused to observe the faces of his friends to get their reaction. Just blank stares. He continued. "Number one, Wait for nightfall and place the package in your room. Number two, Exit the room for fifteen minutes then return. Number three, Enjoy! Love..." Demyx paused once again with the notion of love from Vexen. The faces around the room now looked irritated. So he finished. "Love... your number one fan!" Everyone gasped. Who would have thought Vexen was Axel's number one fan? Everyone took several steps away from the gift knowing that, from Vexen, it was probably bad. Saix asked the question on everyones mind.

"So are you going to do it?" They all looked at Axel with eagerness. Axel grimaced and answered.

"Hell no! You think I'm dumb? It came from Vexen after all..." There was a general murmur of agreement. At this point they decided to go back to the gifts. Marluxia was the first to open one. It was addressed from Xemnas. He ripped the paper away revealing a shocking sight: A blown up and framed version of the terrifying postcard! Everyone except Marluxia ran out of the room crying, some about sexual harassment. Marluxia just sat there and squeeled.

"Eeeeeeek! Oh! I love it!" He held it close in a sort of hug. He then stood up and mounted it on the wall, right above the TV. He turned around after he noticed that everyone had left. "Guys, aren't you going to open gifts?" Xigbar was brave enough to stick his head around the corner.

"No! Not until that thing is gone!" He retracted his head and waited for an answer.

"Well this ain't goin' nowhere so you had better get used to it." He walked back over to the tree and began to open more gifts. No one wanted to be further traumatized so they just stood in the hallway. Finally, Axel mustered up the courage to take Christmas into his own hands. He rushed back in the meeting hall, stomped over to the TV, and unleashed a roaring fire right on to the unsespecting Marluxia's prized gift. Axel turned to the group in the hall and smiled. They assumed the coast was clear and came back in. Xaldin stopped in his tracks.

"Whats that smell?" Xaldin turned to Axel. Axel just winked and gave the signal to be quiet. Marluxia was still busy opening gifts and failed to notice his burned up gift (or what was left of it) hanging above the TV. Larxene turned to Xaldin.

"Like you're one to talk about smells, Xaldin!"

The rest of the morning went pretty smoothly. Roxas was sitting in the arm chair waiting for the right time to give his gift to Xion. Soon the morning rolled into afternoon and he was still waiting. He decided to give up for now and join Demyx outside making snowmen. Most everybody went back to their rooms to chill out a while, but Marluxia was hunting Axel wherever he went, waiting for the moment to get his revenge...

~Part Eleven~

Marluxia had thought up a great way to get his revenge. He would take the gift Axel got from Vexen and place it in his room, then the unsuspecting Axel would get whatever came his way (hopefully something bad). He returned to the meeting hall to find it deserted. Perfect. Now all he had to do was find the gift and take it to Axel's room. He approached the tree and discovered the gift sitting out in the open, completely unattended to. Score. He reached down to pick it up.

"Holy crap! This thing is freaking heavy! What did Vexen put in here, bricks?" He gave up on lifting it and chose to drag it all the way to Axel's room. "I wonder if anyone will think I'm suspicious.." He poundered this on the long and difficult journey, pausing every so often to catch his breath. He made it two-thirds of the way there when he heard a sneeze. He stopped. Zexion? No, it couldn't be. Zexion was locked up in his room on the other side of the Castle. So who then? He waited and listened a while before he passed it off as his imagination. When he finally made it to Axel's room, he was surprised to see it was empty. Hadn't Axel gone to his room to relax before dinner? Ah, well. Who cares? He entered Axel's room and placed the gift on the floor next to his bed. He walked back out in to the hall and began to make his way back to the meeting hall. He had walked about fifty-feet when he stopped and thought.

"I've never actually seen Axels room before..." He turned around and re-entered Axel's room. He then began his search for the light switch. It didn't seem to be anywhere. Did Axel just sit in the dark all the time? Maybe he's a vampire! Marluxia's train of thought sped off without him. Suddenly, a figure in the corner lunged at him, hitting him over the head. He fell to the floor unconscious. The figure approached the limp form of Marluxia, standing up in shock.

"You're not MY dirty birdy! How dare you sully his room with your ugly presence!" The figure knelt down once again and began tying Marluxia up. Once he was secure the figure drug his body to Axel's closet and locked it tight.

Outside the Castle...

Axel and Xion had joined Demyx and Roxas making snowmen. They eventually got bored and decided to have a snowball fight. They split into teams; the first team was Roxas and Axel and the second team was Demyx and Xion. Neither team actually won, but it probably would have been team two. Once again they got bored and went back to the snowmen. Roxas had thought of a great way to give Xion her gift. He was going to make a snowman look like her and place the gift on it. It didn't take him long to finish. Now all he needed was a moment to get out the gift. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the little box. He turned to make sure no one was looking. He then pulled out the necklace from the box, and placed it on the snowman. He was about to ask Xion to come look, when he heard her laughing. He wheeled around and saw that the three of them had made a Xemnas snowman and were scribbling on it. Xion thought this was completely hillarious and couldnt' help but point out,

"Shouldn't he be in a Speedo?" The other two began to writhe on the ground moaning about mental images. Roxas walked over next to Xion and giggled along side her.

She turned to him and asked, "What do you think? Pretty life like huh?" Roxas chuckled.

"Oh yeah! I would swear I was looking at the real thing!" She gave him a stern look.

"Oh, so it's sarcasm now is it? Well take this!" She flung a snowball directly into his face. He fell to the ground laughing and started to crawl away. "Oh no you don't!" This time she missed and hit Demyx in the shin.

"How did I get involved!" Demyx ran to the other side and hid behind Axel. Axel ducked just as a snowball came his direction, leaving Demyx's face wide open. Smack!

Now Demyx was mad.

"Hey! We're nowhere near Roxas! What the hell?" She chuckled and threw another one at him, this time missing him by a hair. Axel jumped up and shouted.

"Alright this means war!" They appeared to be having way more fun with this fight than the previous one. Eventually it came down to Roxas vs. Xion and Axel vs. Demyx.

Roxas ran to hide behind his snowman, gathering and making as many snowballs as possible. Suddenly Xion appeared in front of him.

"Ha there's no escape! Say your pray-" She was about to launch the final blow when she noticed the snowman. "Roxas...is that me?" He opened his eyes and stopped cowering.

"Ummm...Yeah. I thought...you know..." He couldn't seem to find the right words, so he improvised. "Merry Christmas." Xion's face lit up. She ran over to him and gave him a big hug.

"Oh Roxas... you're so sweet!" His face turned a bright red. He sat up and grabbed the necklace off the snowman and placed it around Xion's neck. The two of them just sat there in each others arms until Demyx broke the silence. Demyx stopped running from Axel long enough to re-enact what he had seen.

"Oh Axel you're so sweet!" He pursed his lips and waited for a kiss. He was greeted by a snowball to the face. Axel turned to Xion and Roxas.

"Monkey see Monkey do..." They laughed until their sides hurt. Roxas was the first to say what they were all thinking.

"Come on, it's getting late. We should get back." And so they all began their ascent to the Castle.

~Part Twelve~

Axel decided to go to his room to give Roxas and Xion some alone time. He figured he had done enough damage. He took this time to think more about all the things that had happened these last couple of days. It wasn't long before he arrived at his room. As he reached for the door handle, the door slid open on its own.

"What the? I thought I locked my door..." He crept slowly into his dark room. He reached across his desk to get the light, but before he could reach it the door slammed shut. Axel jumped and whirled around to see what happened. Before he could blink, he was struck on the head by a blunt object. The figure knelt down by his side, an evil cackle escaping it's lips...

Elsewhere in the castle...

The table was set, the candles were lit and the snow was falling ever so gently. It all seemed so perfect...

Everyone took their places at the table, eager to dig in to the delicious smelling food. This time everything was prepared by Xigbar and Larxene. They had made extra sure to relieve Xaldin of his duties. Larxene was, to everyones surprise, a very gracious hostess. She went around the table pouring sparkling cider for everyone (There was a general agreement to a non-alchoholic party, knowing what happened last night). Everyone was dressed in their best possible clothes (Which was mostly just tux's that they had borrowed from Xaldin). The girls looked especially nice, Larxene even opted out of wearing white. Instead she was wearing a long teal dress that she apparently bedazzled. Xion was wearing a black dress again, this time it was a long one with no shortage of sparkles. She was even wearing the necklace Roxas had gotten her. It was a golden heart shaped pendent with a small keyhole in it's center. She was constantly fiddling with it, obviously proud and hoping someone would notice it. Everyone had taken their seats and Xigbar was about to start the toast when Zexion came bursting into the room. All eyes were on him. He looked to be in a state of panic. He opened his mouth, pointed to the empty seat where Axel should have been, and sneezed. There was a long silience before Lexeaus noticed what he meant.

"Hey...where's Axel?" Everyone at the table gasped. Where the hell WAS Axel?

Meanwhile in Axel's room...

Axel had just woken up. Things were still very blurry. He could make out a figure standing over him. Whoever it was was chanting.

"I'm your number one fan, I'm your number one fan." When the chorus had ended Axel's vision had returned to normal. He could now see his assailant. It was a young girl, around the age of twelve. She was wearing a purple shirt and khaki shorts. The evil grin never left her lips. Axel let out a loud moan. This was getting beyond weird...

"Ohhh! I've seen this movie...there isn't a sequel!" Axel, even in tremendous pain, still had the heart to make a joke. The little girl thought this was rather funny.

"Teehee! Oh my Axel darling, you are just too silly!" She walked over to the closet and opened the door. The little girl indicated the hog-tied form of Marluxia. "Isn't he wonderful? It's my gift to you!" She poked the limp Marluxia. Axel couldn't resist another joke.

"It's just what I've always wanted. Let me guess, your name is Wilkes, right?" He didn't bring himself to laugh at his own humorous input. She apparently didn't either.

"No. How could you forget my name?" Finally the evil grin faded, only to be replaced by a scowl. Now Axel was scared. He tried to lighten the mood again.

"It was a joke. You now, Misery? It was a Stephen King novel." She stared blankly at him. "Oy vey..."

Back in the dining hall...

They were all about to go look for Axel, when Vexen made a declaration.

"No no no! It would be redundant to go looking for Axel." All eyes turned to him. Larxene let out a snort of derision.

"Redundant? Do you even know the meaning of the word? How is it redundant?" Vexen became infuriated at the notion he didn't know what he was talking about. He turned to her, his cold eyes resting on her face.

"Of course I know! I am a Scientist, damn you. It is redundant because someone in this room did it!" Demyx gasped.

"How could you acuse us? You're the one who's his number one fan!" He pointed a finger in Vexen's face. Vexen scowled and turned to Larxene to blame her. She then turned to Saix, and Saix proclaimed.

"What about Marluxia? He was the one with the greatest motive." Everyone stopped to agree with him. They were about to leap on Marluxia, when Xion pointed out.

"Uhhh...where is Marluxia? Don't tell me we didn't notice he was gone too!" There was a stuned silence.

Back in Axel's room...

Axel was passing the time watching the lump that was Marluxia. He was an odd sort of fellow, especially in his sleep. Axel couldn't help but wonder what he dreamed about. Probably the movie Secret Garden. He watched it all the time after all. Even read his autographed copy of the book. Now Axel was bored. He turned to the nameless girl whining.

"I'm hungry! How long are you going to hold me hostage?" The girl simply chuckled. She looked at him with that same creepy grin that she had earlier.

"Oh silly! You and me are ment to be. We're going to be here forever. Don't worry, we will die together." Now she pulled a knife from her shorts pocket.

"Oh sweet jesus!" Axel started to panic. He did the only thing he could think of: scream. "Help! Help! A raving lunatic is trying to kill me! I'm too pretty to die!" Just then, his bedroom door burst open. Roxas and Saix had heard his screams from down the hall (I guess they had been put in the search party team). They rushed to the middle of the room. Saix grabbed the girl, yanking the knife from her hands.

"No no! Let me go! You're ruining everything!" Saix hauled the annoying little girl to the window of Axel's room.

"Oh would you shut the hell up?" He opened the window and threw her out. Roxas' face turned white.

"You didn't have to do that! She was just a kid!" Saix scoffed.

"Yeah, a twisted little kid. She's gone now, let it go." Roxas ran to the window. He was shocked to see her unharmed. She had landed on the local moogle. Unfortunately, he wasn't as lucky. Three broken ribs and a punctured lung. He was DOA...

Back at the dining hall...

They had rescued Axel, defeated the psycho, and all before their dinner got cold. Sitting merrily around the table, laughing living, and, dare I say it, loving. Roxas and Xion had decided to go steady. Axel was kissing (and chugging) his champaign. And Lexeaus had Mr. Poopsie. This was turning out to be the best Christmas after all...

But, what about Marluxia?

Back in Axel's closet...

The still hog-tied Marluxia remained unrescued. He whimpered and whined. Tears plastering his pretty face. Little did he know, he was going to be there for a long time...poor Marly...

Meanwhile on Destiny Islands...

Xemnas was laying on the beach. Wind blowing through his hair, the waves lapping at his feet, and the sun warming every part of his body...yes: EVERY PART.

A voice called out to him.

"Here's your drink, sir." The voice was nervous. He had obviously never worked on a nude beach before. Xemnas sat up and relieved the boy of the drink.

"Thank you Sora." Sora now ran off back to the bar, tear soaked and mortified. Xemnas sat back down, returning to his place of tranquility.

Yes: This was the best Christmas ever...

~The End~


End file.
